Can I cut your hair and then pretend its mine?

I have hair envy. My hair is flat. As flat is it gets. No curls. Only I think three at the hairline, which only annoy me whenever I try to make more out of my hair once every century. But besides they just lie there. So, yes I want to have curls, natural curls, because I'm a lazy bastard. So, yeah I would like to have curls, but I don't want to do anything for it. I want to walk around feel through my curly curls that will swing on my head like little ballerinas dancing. Most of the time I see someone with curls I wonder how it feel to have them on my head, naturally of course. Curling them on my own takes just too long, because they will only stay curly when done with compeletly wet hair that then most dry off completely.

Altough, to be fair to myself, honest might be the better word here, I'm not really that lazy when it comes to my hair. Some might say I'm obsessed. I wash it every second day and then I wash it two times in a row. Why? Because I first wash out the dirt, then I want the whole good stuff to be able to its magic. I'm not sure if it does, meaning I never conducted a study upon it, but I think it helps the hair to stay cleaner for a longer period and shinier and softer. After my washing I wrap it in to a towel for a bit and then let it airdry. No rubbing, not blow drying, maybe gentle removal of the most water with the towel on my hair. I don't brush it until its cdry and I often use some spray conditioner. I never wash my hair with conditioner, it just softens the hair and then it gets greasy much quicker.

Every now and then I frantically search my hair for splitted ends and then cut them out. And every few months a hairdresser gets to cut of some amount.

Whenever I have the feeling my hair could look greasy I get obsessed about it and ask everbody around if that's the case or wear something to hide it. Once I was that unhappy about it that I didn't stop nagging until my friends told me wash my hair at her place and I did. At a party in a very small flat. No, I'm not that difficult most of the time.

So, yeah, all in all I might be a bit envious, or a bit more than a bit, of curly hair, but in end the right description for my hair relationship might be compulsary behaviour.