Cat world domination

The late and great Douglas Adams revealed in his book "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" that mice are the true lords of our planet. Second came the dolfins and and with that the great muscial opening number of the movie. Even though I would have to surrender if I compared my creativity, wit and wisdom to Mr.Adams, I still would have to disagree on one crucial point. We can agree on dolfins. They even have names in dolfinish - or however you want to call their language - and manage to be considered cute even though they are predators.

But mice are surely not the most clever animals on the planet - nor are we for that matter - I'm convinced cats rule supremely over us.

Most pets we do have serve a purpose. A dog can be trained to fetch your newspaper in the morning. And if you should happen to be too lazy to train it, at least its very existence guarantees that you will get for a walk twice a day. Horses, chickens, cows, all of them improve our lives in some way. And the animals that don't serve such a useful purpose are mostly in cages, so you can go and look at them being cute, study their behaviour and even take them out to cuddle them. They have their fixed space and won't do any harm to the rest of the house.

Cats on the other hand refuse to serve any apparent purpose and certainly won't get locked up into a cage. Well, in the beginning they did hold a very valueable place, hunting animals that would eat our food. But that was just the first step in their evil plan to take over the world. Soon after we let them hunt for us, they managed to sneak into our houses. And then they convinced us that we should feed them and give them toys to play with, let them lie on the cozy heater on soft blankets especially bought for them and in return they will do nothing at all. No, they even crash and shred our house to pieces.

Just imagine you would be the head of a company and someone would apply for a job there. And the guy coming to an interview would demand free access to your office, that you pay for specific food and that you get up in the middle of the night to serve dinner if that person feels like it. During that interview he - or maybe she? - will loose interest several times, throw down your prizy porcelan figure you got from your grandma minutes before she died and in the end end up sleeping on your laptop. And then you would hire that guy. This is what we do with cats.

Cats propably possess the ability of brainwashing us into thinking that we really would like to have a monster in our house that destroys things just for the fun of it. And I think I know how they are doing it. The purring stimualtes a certain area in our brain that switches off the ability for a rational deciscion and let cats do the decisions for us. It is genius. If you now think that it is not as bad as I think, I assure you that this state is just the next step to openly impose cat-domination on us. I just saw this video:



You know what that means. They are evolving. Soon they will drive our cars, take over the government and force us to do everything for them. Now, we at least can get mad at them throw them from the dinner table or just out of the house. But this time we won't be able to refuse anything. We will have to obey. Soon they will grow opposable thumbs and then we are all screwed.

(Here is the link to the original video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVV_HXtEbLo&feature=player_embedded, although I have seen my cat standing up, too ;) )