I seem to be a very attractive girl. That, or the men in my city have an apparent death wish. Whenever I am down and extremely grrrrr, there will be a guy who thinks THAT is my sign to be hit on.
Like that one guy that tried to invite me to a coffee, while I was desperatly rushing to the doctor to get some painkillers and antibiotics to treat my bladder infection. I highly doubt that the hugh thunder storm expression on my face could have been interpreted as "Ask-me-out-NOW!". Still, this brave man just did that.
Another real bad way to try to get my interest and the interest of my most girls is, chat her up while your breath smells like you nurture on beer alone and look like showering is not really your cup of tea. And then to decrease your already quite low chances, make your move on a total stranger during the week - so that your drunken state really makes you look like an alcoholic - on a tram, while your target looks like she just murdered someone or is considering it and looks straight of the window, so she doesn't have to put that plan in action. And then persist on talking to her, even if you only get tiny polite smiles and one-worders as a response. On top of that try extremely bad approaches like "Oh, i had mistaken you for someone else. Are you sure you are not Kristin?", while you sit a meter away from her. If that's not going to get her attention get up, say good bye, but then come back again and claim you almost got out at the wrong stop. Because portraying yourself to her as someone who is so filled up that you lost sense of time and place will surely make her reconsider her first impression that you are an alcoholic looney.
Still, keep on going that path and be sympathic to her bad mood. Because, after the forth "hmmm!", even you have to acknowledge that. Tell her that your life sucks, too - something she would have never figured out herself being drunk and all -and that you would like to break out of that life and surely she will break out in an excited "Yes, please, let's elope and marry in Vegas!" If even several hints in the "I understand your feeling"-direction didn't provoke that reaction yet, point out to her that she wouldn't have that many options anyway. Say something charming like "You know, the fairytale of the frog that will turn into a prince doesn't exist" and she will suddenly see that you are the best and only option to ever be happy.
If she still just gets off the tram and nearly runs away, she propably was just not worth your attention anyway. Just keep persuing that way.
And if you now think no one would ever act that weirdly, you never took my tram at nine o'clock and met harmless, - but- extremely- drunk- and- socially- inapt guy that did exactly everything of the above. I really don't think I'm that extremely pretty, especially in the mood I was in. If you still met a girl that you think was the most pretty thing on the whole planet, you should hope you are not drunk, unwashed and just be nice, ask her politely if she would like to have a cup of coffee with her.
When it happend to me at my way to the doctor, I was extremely taken aback, because I was just extremely annoyed by my condition, but I thought it was a very sweet gesture and I didn't decline because of my mood, but because I had a boyfriend. So, even though I shoot him down, I was nice, thanking for that offer and explaining I had a boyfriend. I know when I was younger I made a sport out of scaring the shit out of guys, whenever someone was brave enough to chat me up, but that just might explain why I was single.
All in all, just be nice, shower, don't be drunk and be polite. Don't try to kill a lion in front of me. (Which would be very odd, considering I live in a city) Don't come up with cheesy one-liners ("Your Dad is a thief....") If the girl still shoots you down and is unnecessarily cruel while doing it, she might not be a very good company anyway and certainly not worthy of your attention. Just a thought.
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